100 Word Challenge!!
When you submit your comment you need to title the comment like this
100WC November 2 —-EXAMPLE
- 100WC
- The Date
- Your first name
Remember, type your prompt as a google doc first. Do not paste it in as a comment until you are sure it is complete, titled correctly, proofread for spelling, capital letters, grammar, and punctuation, and is between 95-105 words!
Then post your comment!
This week, we have a picture! You can really be creative with this one! Don’t describe the picture, write a story! Hmmmmm…… are the people real size? Is the “thing” real size??????????????????????
Once upon a time, there were these two people that were husband and wife, the size of a bee. They could even fit in a toy car. They got bored and decided to go on a road trip. They packed all their luggage with their clothes in it. They were so happy. They have never been on a road trip which meant it was their first time. They were going to the beach and it was gonna be like paradise! They got in there toy car and hit the peddal. A couple hours in, they saw a bee crash into the glass and they got their luggage and ran to help it. They rapped the bee’s leg and they became friends.
Good story Avita. You had some creative juices flowing. When I looked at the picture, I was at a loss of what I’d write about.
I think it was well written, but I’d take a moment and be sure to reread your work. and example, although small, is the first sentence.
Once upon a time, there were these two people that were husband and wife, the size of a bee.
I think adding the words “they were the size of a bee.” would help the reader fully understand the sentence.
Your writing is really getting better!!! Great job.
Jake 100WC November 3
Hey the good thing about Bumble bees is that they are small but are they small? You see I’m almost sure you guys have seen bumble bees before and they are small but one day it was just another day I saw this huge bumble bee, it’s head was bigger than me!!! I thought it was cool so my friend and I followed it and named it Stripe. I thought that was a cool name because well, bees have stripes. anyways It doesn’t really matter what I named it because when we were following it It fell out of the sky because it hit a tree and died! I was so sad.
Jake I loved your humor about naming the bumble bee stripes. That was cleaver. I was hoping to read more about the story. What did you do when you followed it? Adding more details to the story will engage the reader better.
I noticed you used the word “cool” several times. Using a more descriptive words adds to the depth of the story.
Keep up the good writing job!
I really like your story Jake! The ending is sad. I would feel the same. Remember to add your punctuation ( capitals, .)
100 WC 11/3/2020 Elli
Once there lived these two toys they were very old and was thrown out in the trash but something magical happened they came to life the two toys pulled each other out of the trash can and flop out they were so tired, but they had to keep going they had to find a way to get out the house so when the owners open the door they took their chance they started running when they got outside something caught their eyes it was a killer bee it looked so big then “ woosh” the killer bee grab on to one of the toys like a hawk and wouldn’t let go, but the toy was heavier so they didn’t worry and started recording and the killer bee gave up and left.
Elli
Cleaver and creative thoughts. I was entertained the entire time I was reading. I liked the end about the killer bee!
The one comment is… Where the heck are all of your punctuation? Remember the periods allows your reader to embrace one thought at a time. Add those periods or other punctuations as needed.
You had a really good story!
100WC 11-3-2020 Bray
One morning there were these men in what looked like white hazmat suits.They had a spear-like needle and they had gone to a bee nest that I have had in my backyard for a while.I saw them hitting down the nest my mom was in town I yelled,”MOM did you hire these bee killers”.She said,”Yes why”.I said back “Mom they were living peacefully they never stung us and these guys are killing them”.I love animals they don’t deserve to be killed.The bee guys came to the front door and said,” We got rid of them”.Why?
Bray
Your use of descriptive words like: white hazmat suit, and spear-like needle” was great.
Look closely as you use spaces, commas, and punctuation.
Just curious… if the mom was in town, how could you yell at her?
Keep up the writing and reread your work. I bet you’ll catch some of those editing issues.
100 Word Challenge
The Date: November 3, 2020
Your first name: Nathan
Once upon a time in a far away place two people found a hurt bee. They had a miniatureiser so they shrunk to the size of the bee so they could help the hurt bee. The bee had a hurt leg and wing. Good thing they had a medical kit! The two people opened the medical kit and they took out some bandages. They bandaged the bees wing and leg. Now that they know the bee will survive they deminiaurized and they went on their way.
Nathan,
Great story! I followed the entire story. It was well written and interesting to read! You did a great job of telling a story.
The only thing I would add is to include more descriptions of how it was hurt. What did the wing and leg look like? adding details helps the reader to picture the bee.
I am very impressed by your story and your use of the prompt. I can see you know how bees are important to us. Well done!
Austin nov 3 erd 100wc
There were two scientists who were going to Iowa to do some research. While they were driving to Iowa they saw a big big bee crash into a wall. It fell out of the sky and they drove faster to go help the poor thing. When they got to the bee they got out their equipment to help it they fixed it up. And they got back to the car, the bee followed them and started to drive and the bee followed when they got there they got on top of the bee and rode to the research site. They became best friends.
Hi!
I know it’s got to be challenging to stick the 100 words! I’m wondering if you reread what you wrote aloud when you were finished? I like to write as a hobby, and when I’m done that’s what I do to catch any mistakes. It works well! Take a look at the last part of your story from “And” on to the end. See if there are any things you can do to help it to make a bit more sense.
100 Word Challenge Max November 5
Once there were two people they were in their house when they heard a crash! They ran outside to see what was up when they got there they found a bee but this was no ordinary bee it was huge when they went to their door step they found out they were small and a guy had shrunk them. They were so mad that they decided to help heal the bee and they used all they had to have the bee come back and help. When the bee was back they found the guy that shrunk them and shrunk him. And they were happy.
Hi Max,
Well done on your story this week. I like how they combined forces to find they guy that had shrunk them. It all worked out in the end. Keep up the good work.
Hi Max!
Creative story! I liked the way the bee helped them out and they helped him out too! Good job with showing excitement using the exclamation point. Huge was a good word, where else could you use a descriptive word?
100wc Ella 11-3-2020
Hello there my name is Pivonka Darsome Grand. I am an architect at the Art Museum of Madison,Wisconsin. Today I had this great opportunity to build a tiny scene. My boss said the only rule is that you have to include tiny people and a big bug. So I did, I built tiny people taking pictures and studying a real sized bee. If you were wondering,I found the bee in my wasp catcher in my backyard. I did not catch it and kill it. And my boss thought this was a very creative creation and he asked me to make more,¨WHAT!¨
Hi Ella,
Well done this week! Creative story that was well sequenced. You did a good job of explaining and have it make sense. Your ending was creative and made me laugh!
By Thien 100WC
Wednesday, November 4
Once upon a time there were two men named Jose and Brian, they were best friends and they were the size of bugs. One day they went on a vacation so they went together. They packed up their luggage and went on their way, they saw a bee and the bee was the size of them, they waved at the bee, later when they got to the beach they wore a different outfit it was a white outfit they made snacks on the sand near the water of the beach and put their luggage next to them Jose suddenly saw a bee the bee started going down slowly and became Jose and Brian pet and from that day on they had even a better life with a bee pet.
Hi Thien,
What a creative idea for a story. I think we all wish we were on vacation at the beach huh! I would suggest that when you finish up your writing you read it outloud to yourself. If you listen carefully you should hear the places where you need to put a period in from the middle of your story to the end. Instead of using commas, try using a period first. Commas are used to place a pause in your sentence. You used commas in places where a period would be needed instead. Keep the good ideas coming!
100wc Cera
November 6
Once upon a time there lived two boys,and their names were Leo and Mac.They wanted to go on a road trip.So they pack their bags and head for the road in their small car.It was not long before they came to a stop to rest for the night when all of a sudden a bumble bee came down from the sky.”oh no that pour bumble bee,is he hurt”? Said Leo.”We bought a medical kit,maybe we can help him?”said Mac.Leo you are really good at helping animals.Said Mac.
Hi Cera,
I like your ideas! This was a good start, now i realize it’s hard to keep a story to 100 words. I appreciate that you used correct dialogue in your story with tag words too! I like that they are working together to help the bee. 🙂
Willow 100 WC NOV 3 2020
Along time there were men who had the biggest bee in the world. She could make 20 pounds of honey . She was their prize , but one day they released that she wasn’t happy and if the queen sees them trying to take her away she would kill them. After two days of thinking they figured it out they would dress the bee up as made and after a day of work she would bee free. But there was one thing, how would she escape with a broken wing. Well it will be tough but we can and we will.
100WC Olivia 11/6/2020
There were these two people named Andy and Jess, they were very little. And when I mean little I mean the size of an ant.
One day they were going on a walk. They brought their camera just in case they saw something amazing. When they started walking they saw this huge thing fall out of the sky. They did not know what it was so they ran over to check it out.
When they got over there there was a bee. They had never seen a bee that close to them. They took as many pictures as they could and then ran away from it!
I love the way you have focused on the figures for your story, Olivia. Then it is the bee who seems out of place, rather than the other way around. You have used the picture prompt very carefully and produced an interesting and believable story. I am not surprised that Andy and Jess ran away in the end!
100 Word Challenge November 6
A long time ago there were 2 men.They were about the size of an aunt.They carried around a blue suit case. They lived on a high branch on a tall tree.One day they were looking for food and then a bee came by the first man grabbed his sharp stick.And the other one ducked.The first man hit the bee with its sharp stick tell it was dead.Now that the monster bee was gone they could use his yellow and black fur to patch up the holes in there wight closes.So next time they would be reddy.
Once upon a time there was this kid named Zach and that little boy loved playing with dead bugs!! This Christmas Zach’s mom got him a set where you could make your own movie with your toys, It came with two white toy figures. One day Zach was out in the backyard and he found a dead bee on the porch and he thought that it would be a good idea to use his movie kit to make a movie about the dead bee on the porch. So he got his movie kit and made a movie about the dead bee when he was done he shared it with me.
One day two scientist’s named Rick and Tony shrank themselves so they could study a bees brain so they went hunting for bees it had been ten hours since they left as soon as it was the next day they gave up but all of a sudden bees were flying at them all directions then they relized they were in a flower field so they got a bee and started to study its brain and said ” that’s too small” but continued to study the bees brain then they went back to the lab and made themselves big sized again and laughed
100wc
november /8/2020
AydenC
What where and when did this thing come here i was as big as a bus and bigger when it gets touched when it first got touched it was as big as a qourter and then it was touched again and it was as big as a bus and then it flew to a unknown place called yashika and it traveled eighteen miles to yashika and it was a beautiful island and it was just a island that the bee had and the island was attacked after 20 years of trying to find the bee they captured the bee and it was kept in a container for life
100 Word Challenge November 9
A long time ago there were 2 men. They were about the size of an ant. They went around with 2 blue bags. They lived on a high branch on a tall tree. One day they were looking for food and then a bee came by, the first man grabbed his stick and the other one ran.The first man hit the bee with his stick until it was dead. Now that the evil bee was gone they could use his yellow and black fuzz to fix up the holes in their outfits. After that there were no more bees.
100WC November 12,
there were two scientists who wanted to study bees, so they decided to go to a flower field and shrink themselves to the size of a bee, they wore special suits to protect themselves, they caught bee and started studying it, they also brought the bee back to the lab as well to study it even more, during that day, they learned lots of things that would really help them with all sorts of there science experiments, they also the perfect cure for all diseases, what was it? The perfect cure was HONEY!!!!!